Right now, I don't even know what's going to happen next week. I want us to get married still even if it's just with our children and our parents by our side but the wedding reception is proving much trickier. I don't want to upset anyone by uninviting them and I don't want to offend anyone either but I have to think about US in all of this, and what WE want. I'm happy sharing a family meal after the ceremony but I'm not prepared to have to hire our room just to have 3 little tables dotted about within it. That would look so ridiculous, a room meant for 100 with just 15 people sat inside it.
Whatever happens, there's going to be tears and so much wastage. If we cancel the reception, I'll have to cancel the room decorations and the table decorations and the chair covers and sashes. I'll have to cancel the light up LOVE letters sign and I'll be stuck with 84 Krispy Kreme doughnuts or I'll have to cancel those too. Whatever I cancel at this short notice though, I will be losing money for and that's not OK. I could lose the huge deposit I've paid to the hotel venue and hundreds of pounds more that's already been paid to vendors. It's all such a horrible situation.
Today's been a hugely stressful day and I just wanted to get it all out of my head so that I might actually get some sleep tonight. I've had several journalists contact me today for my 'story' but I decided I was in no emotionally fit state to be talking to any of them so I'd rather write it here myself. That way, no one mixes up my words or changes them in any way. Life is tough right now and for many people it's just a wedding. But for me, it's so much more. It's my wedding day, the day that I'd been dreaming about and saving for and waiting for, for a many many years.
We didn't have a holiday this year as all our money was tied up in the wedding, we didn't even get to see the sea which I'm really sad about. For the past 6 months, we've been nowhere, done nothing, following the rules like good little people, in the hope that we would get our day, our celebration of love. Our one treat to look forward to that would mean 2020 wasn't all bad, but now that's hanging by a thread. 2020 has been the worst year of my life. I can't wait for it all to be over now. I've had enough of wedding planning. It was supposed to be fun.
So, Thank You Boris Johnson for ruining that for us.